| Crystal Oyler |
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| Written by Travis |
| Monday, 04 January 2010 13:18 |
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Otherwise known as The Heavy Metal Accident. I remember when Jimmy, Travis and Keith were not part of Download, and I loved Download then. I came to all the shows, but was usually the chick in the back, decked out in black with way too much eyeliner. I always came, got my thrash on and left, never wanting to be a groupie type person. I remember seeing Jimmy perform with Drenched at Neptune 's in Nags Head and thinking to myself, "exactly WTF is this guy doing with them?" Not that Drenched wasnt any good, but Jimmy was just amazing and I knew that he wasting his talent in a cover band. I always had higher hopes for him. I remember seeing Travis with SSS and also Kevin with R.O.T. I was fully aware that all these guys had so much potential, so much experience. As a music promoter and talent scout for several different musical entities, it was clear to me that one day all of these guys would find their spot on the big stage. As time went on, I got deeper and deeper into a world of dark depression and drug addiction. I continued on in the metal circuit as always, effectively hiding my addictions and mounting personal problems. I remember the first time I saw Download, with its present members and I had this feeling that started in my toes and ended up flying out of my mouth in a big fat primal holler, that I am very well known for. It had been so long since I really just let go of what all was bottled up inside me. I started to move, and frankly was unable to stop moving. A couple months later, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease on top of my already overbearing addiction to meth and heroin. The team of doctors assigned to me weren't giving me alot of hope because of the extent of damage to my stomach and intestines inflicted by drug abuse, and the surgery I needed to manage the Crohn's would pose a serious threat to my life because I was so small and emaciated. I was really just wasting away and had a really negative outlook on things, not caring if I lived or died. My personal life was in shambles and my health was rapidly deteriorating. In a last ditch effort to stay in the metal circuit despite my health problems, I ended up at an AOD show in S. Norfolk, and as I was leaving someone handed me a demo cd with Epoxy and Download tracks on it. When I left the venue, i popped it into my cd player and jammed out on the way home, realizing it was a rough mix, but was very powerful and moving to me. I was like someone just gave me a Christmas present. I cant really explain how it made me feel, other than I had this great epiphany and wanted to kick the shit outta something or someone, anyone.....and I realized, I needed to kick the shit out of addiction and get my life back. I didnt want to accept that I was dying, but when the Download tracks had finished playing, I realized then that I would never live to see these guys make it big and that I may not even live to see another show if I didnt get my act together. I fought with myself for a couple weeks, remembering the last Download show that I went to trying to get ahold of that primal feeling again and could only find it when I put that cd in the player and turned it up LOUD. I went to detox and to an eating disorder clinic over the next few months, always keeping that same cd in the player in my truck. I had to gain some weight back to have my surgery, I was really scared of the surgery and what it would mean for my life. I came through the surgery with flying colors and moved back to Roanoke , VA where I am from and where I currently live. I discovered Myspace through the help of a coworker and immediately located Download and sent them a friends request. I made the trip to the Lunatic Luau and got my thrash on again for the first time in a long time on that hot indian summer day. I met Debbie Mittlestadt that day, she stood right beside me in the crowd. I remember thinking, WOW it must be awesome for your mom to be one of your fans and to come hang out in this crazy ass crowd. And that was the day I stepped out from the back of the crowd into the front and got the nerve to meet the band that I credit with saving my life. Keith, Jimmy, and Jamie signed my beloved blue Download tshirt, and I still wear it with pride. It was the best thing ever to see this band that I had watched grow up on a big stage in front of thousands of people, giving it hell like they owned the stage and the crowd. And the crowd responded with a passion that I have always felt deep down in my bones. As the music played I felt stronger and happier than I had been in years. I felt kinda silly standing there smiling with like tears in my eyes in a crowd of metalheads thrashing around. I kept in touch through the internet and later the following spring solidified my friendship with Download by coming back to celebrate my birthday with them April 25, 2008 at Gils. It was the best birthday I ever had. Thanks to Kevin Newburn , I now know the members and fans of Download in a very personal way, and love all of them as my own family. I built a circle of trust with them professionally and as a friend and fan..... I lost my voice at every show, I know all the words to every song. I am the loudest, proudest fan in the crowd and I always will be. Thank you Keith, Kevin, Jimmy, Jamie & Travis for being who you are and doing what you do. You probably would have never known that your music saved my life had this horrible tragedy never occurred. I feel kinda mushy like a silly girl for saying this stuff, and silly and mushy are not my style. But I wanted you to know that Download is immortal in my eyes and will live forever in my mind and heart.
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